Noticable?

I never really realized how many Christians are in my classes at school. Needless to say, it seems really ridiculous to me that I have never noticed. I know most everyone in the class has values of helping people and such like, but within the last couple of weeks I have discovered more and more Christians! On the one hand, it's excellent. On the other hand, I wonder why I didn't notice before... sometimes we sure don't seem like Christians.

I've laughed at horrible comments, complained along with others (both of these with Christians), have gone through my day with all my focus on myself, purposely avoided people I don't want to talk with, haven't shared about Christ with people I'm around, don't enjoy many songs about God even though they may be true, and have marvelous plans and ideas for serving God in the future and what that looks like, but don't do a whole lot of anything to show those desires and treasures now.

Now, that's not to say that we need to solely act like Christians for people to recognize us as such. I think alot of the people who read my blog know this already. But this last week my brow has been furrowed over the fact that I didn't know the people in my class who are Christians ARE Christians. And I don't know if they know that I am. Even if they do, do I really display Christ's love and power? Hardly. Actually, the way I've been going through some of my days really isn't any different from anyone who doesn't know Christ. I can be inspired by verses in the Bible, pray, and be on my merry little way. I can also hang out with my friends and roommates all the time, but not provide encouragement in following Jesus.

OK, I know there's more depth to my faith than that. I didn't lose it. However, I've really noticed that some key part is lacking. Once again, where's the fruit of the Spirit? Where's the evidence that the Spirit is acting in my life? That I'm not quenching Him but letting Him have full reign? That I completely live by and through Him? Where is the Spirit and what does He do anyway? Where did my passion...my zeal... for Him go?

I remember the first time I learned that Christ lived in me and how incredibly excited I was over the knowledge that Jesus' power is manifested in and through me. I felt sparkly with the idea. Oftentimes now, I feel glazed over. Where did the power go? Why don't I let Him be powerful in me?

Granted, this year has been crazy insane for learning things and going through changes... and I've experience God more fully and differently than ever before... and I know my experiences are real. But right now, I think and feel monotone. But I WANT God's power working in me. I want so much to see His power working through my Christian friends. I want to believe and grow and blossom more and more. It's definitely something to spend some good honest time talking and listening with God about...