Well, here I am. Recovering from...you guessed it: heart surgery.
The days leading up to it almost drove me insane. I must say I had fun in them though: cross-country skiing and snowboarding...both super fun days. But that meant I was super sore for the day of surgery...I could hardly move my upper body when the nurses told me, after 6 hours of laying on my back, that I could sit up. And I wasn't sore because I had just gone through heart surgery, but because I had enjoyed sports that used muscles I don't normally use! I swear I didn't feel the pain from anything relating to surgery (even after the freezing wore off).
I think the most amazing thing about going through surgery was the number of people thinking about and praying for me. I was on a bit of a rollercoaster (controlled rollercoaster for the most part) of being "whatever" on one side and scared on the other. The week before at church I had a few people come up to me to tell me they would be praying for me. The number of people who have loved me, prayed for me, and checked up on me afterwards is incredible. I wanted to go through it with as little fuss as possible, but soon everyone knew about it, and on the flip side, I am grateful.
Last night, though, was the scariest night ever. I laid there in bed, after my parents had gone home, with my heart still flip-flopping every now and then, wondering if I was going to die during the night and Heidi would end up finding me in the morning (that's the worst though ever). Or if I should call the hospital, or if I even knew when, if I even should at all, call the hospital. So instead, I called my parents and cried. My Dad was really reassuring, and ended the call with a quick "Lord, help Candice fall asleep tonight and sleep well" kind of prayer. The quick, simple, prayer. The same prayer I have seen answered in other ways like when the friend I was snowboarding with lost his cell phone on a run, and a few minutes after talking about how his mom prays when she loses things, I said a little one in my head, and I'm sure he did too, and the cell phone was found. So, after I hung up the phone and Heidi helped me set up the stereo to distract my mind with some music, I fell asleep and slept soundly!
The surgery was successful. The doctors and nurses were incredible. The process was intriguing although I only remember bits and pieces. So far I'm recovering well. Holidays are over, my anticipated events have passed, and it's a New Year with good things to experience and grow in.
I've been thinking alot about how I want to live this next year. A friend once mentioned that she thinks I live deliberately. I know that's not true all the time, but I hope I will live so this next year. I want to live a life this year that is pleasing to God. To live in the faith that I have learned. Thereby, I hope to be an encouragement to friends around me. To be real, and honest in following Christ. To set my eyes and work toward treasures that matter, and have joy in doing so. To meet new friends, and enjoy those I have and am getting to re-know.
Those are my hopes, along with not ever having to go to ER for heart things again. I'm definitely looking forward to this year. I'm thankful the last is over, and I'm ready to start in the freshness of a new semester.
Friends are coming over for a bit now, so off I go.
The days leading up to it almost drove me insane. I must say I had fun in them though: cross-country skiing and snowboarding...both super fun days. But that meant I was super sore for the day of surgery...I could hardly move my upper body when the nurses told me, after 6 hours of laying on my back, that I could sit up. And I wasn't sore because I had just gone through heart surgery, but because I had enjoyed sports that used muscles I don't normally use! I swear I didn't feel the pain from anything relating to surgery (even after the freezing wore off).
I think the most amazing thing about going through surgery was the number of people thinking about and praying for me. I was on a bit of a rollercoaster (controlled rollercoaster for the most part) of being "whatever" on one side and scared on the other. The week before at church I had a few people come up to me to tell me they would be praying for me. The number of people who have loved me, prayed for me, and checked up on me afterwards is incredible. I wanted to go through it with as little fuss as possible, but soon everyone knew about it, and on the flip side, I am grateful.
Last night, though, was the scariest night ever. I laid there in bed, after my parents had gone home, with my heart still flip-flopping every now and then, wondering if I was going to die during the night and Heidi would end up finding me in the morning (that's the worst though ever). Or if I should call the hospital, or if I even knew when, if I even should at all, call the hospital. So instead, I called my parents and cried. My Dad was really reassuring, and ended the call with a quick "Lord, help Candice fall asleep tonight and sleep well" kind of prayer. The quick, simple, prayer. The same prayer I have seen answered in other ways like when the friend I was snowboarding with lost his cell phone on a run, and a few minutes after talking about how his mom prays when she loses things, I said a little one in my head, and I'm sure he did too, and the cell phone was found. So, after I hung up the phone and Heidi helped me set up the stereo to distract my mind with some music, I fell asleep and slept soundly!
The surgery was successful. The doctors and nurses were incredible. The process was intriguing although I only remember bits and pieces. So far I'm recovering well. Holidays are over, my anticipated events have passed, and it's a New Year with good things to experience and grow in.
I've been thinking alot about how I want to live this next year. A friend once mentioned that she thinks I live deliberately. I know that's not true all the time, but I hope I will live so this next year. I want to live a life this year that is pleasing to God. To live in the faith that I have learned. Thereby, I hope to be an encouragement to friends around me. To be real, and honest in following Christ. To set my eyes and work toward treasures that matter, and have joy in doing so. To meet new friends, and enjoy those I have and am getting to re-know.
Those are my hopes, along with not ever having to go to ER for heart things again. I'm definitely looking forward to this year. I'm thankful the last is over, and I'm ready to start in the freshness of a new semester.
5 comments:
Glad to hear you're doing well. Thanks for your note on my blog. The fact and truth thing came from the Taurenhof centre director. It took me a while to understand but I keep coming back to it now. It's easy to confuse the two in life. Ultimately everything that is true is rooted in God's character.
Well I hope the first few days of school are going well. The students just got back here today. I'm ready and excited for the next few months. I like the idea of living deliberately. It's too easy to start coasting. Good reminder.
Talk to you later!
so i was looking forward to meeting this roommate of yours today but my car was acting up so i was half an hour late for class and didnt sit where i usually do. oh well, monday i suppose. but that is some crazy coincidence. this is going to be a good year indeed candice!
i met heidi today. she's also in my theology class and seminar. i'm always excited to meet friends of my friends.
Hey Candice, How are you doing now?? Thanks for the comment on my blog, it was encouraging for me. Camp does get pretty lonely some times. I'm on contract until after the Sept. long weekend.
Julia
Candice, I am thoroughly pleased that you played "PITT" with me on Saturday! The movie we watched however, I wish I could go back and choose a different one.
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